First days at the Women's Shelter

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Yesterday was our first day at our NGO placements.

I am working at the only Women's Shelter in the entire country of Botswana with Lauren Blalock. We began our day by touring the Drop-In Counseling Centre and reading their 2008 Annual Report. By reading these reports, we found that they are running a deficit of thousands of dollars (USD, not Botswana Pula) and have no attorney associated with their organization. If a woman wants a divorce or needs/wants to address a violent situation with legal action, they must refer her to an attorney with another organization.

After our orientation, we went to the village to see a woman's home. She is pregnant and already supporting 4 children and her husband is absent. The whole family sleeps in one room. They have another room with a TV, some couches, and a refrigerator--as well as a toilet room. They have no kitchen. There was only enough food in the house to last them through the day. The children rely on their father or relatives to get to school. If he doesn't come, they can't get to school. He comes maybe once-a-week, usually Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday he stays with his girlfriend. On Thursday he gets paid. Then, he spends the whole weekend spending his paycheck and returns to the house on Monday, saying that his paycheck is gone.

All four of her children are boys. The two who were home when we were there were so cute and happy. It was terrible to know that they have no father in their home to show them how to be men. It is easy to see how a cycle of absenteeism for fathers continues in situations like these. These little boys don't know that their daddy is supposed to come home and care for them--so how will they know to do that for their own children?

They offered her an opportunity to come to the shelter, but she wants to stay at home for now and work towards a legal separation and then divorce. She says all she wants is money for rent and for the children.

This meeting was very difficult for me to sit through. I felt angry that a man could treat his family this way and I felt frustrated that the wife was willing to ask for so little. She doesn't care about the girlfriend, the drinking, or the fact that he's never home. She just wants her kids to have food, a home, and an opportunity to go to school--even knowing that he is out spending his money on gambling and alcohol.

The staff at the Centre take it all in stride. Keke, the "intern director" (I think he gave himself this title,) told us that he tries to stay positive when he counsels clients. He might even chuckle at something bad that a man does to show the women that their situations are avoidable. He told us that one can't take life too seriously when working there or depression will set in. Positivity and optimism rubs off on clients.

Lastly, we had an opportunity to sit in on their staff meeting. This was one very serious aspect of life at the Centre. They are very close to closing. They are seriously in need of financial support. Lauren and I feel that this is one way that we can really help them.

After coming back from work, we had group meetings to discuss our days. Lauren and I volunteered to present a paper about the Women's Shelter at a conference in two weeks. Hopefully, we will be able to spread some awareness through our presentation.

After our meeting and dinner, we watched Mr. Bones--one of Karabo's favorite movies. It is South African and smacks of British humor. It was a little strange, but very funny.

Today was our second day at the Shelter. We were a little frustrated because we spent most of the day driving around, running errands. As interns, we feel under-utilized so far; we're hoping we can get some more direction on tasks that can actually help them. If we just shadow the staff, we will be a burden.

We had an opportunity to go to the shelter itself today. Four women live there right now. One of them has three children. We didn't get to stay for long, but the facility is very nice and is staffed by a housemother who makes the women feel safe.

We also went out to Bokaa, a village outside of Gaborone, where we met the chief to discuss plans for an upcoming workshop.

Hopefully, we will have an opportunity for some more activity tomorrow. I will keep everyone updated on what we're working on!

In other news, some people are starting to have crazy dreams related to our prophylactic Malaria medications. (Which is unfortunate, because it is definitely too cold here for mosquitoes.) Last night, one of the girls in my apartment thought she was talking to two of the boys on the trip--then she realized she was hallucinating and talking to the wall. Other people have reported some strange dreams.

Luckily, I'm on Malarone, which does not cause these side-effects. Although I do have to make sure I take it with food because sometimes people are likely to vomit after taking it. Shockingly, despite my sensitive stomach, this hasn't happened. I think it's because the medication is supposed to be taken with something milky because of the protein. Luckily, our breakfasts are full of protein. I eat an egg and bacon every morning.